466. Judas Iscariot Fills Jesus with Joy.

23rd September 1944. prev home next

Jesus says:

« In the meantime I tell you that, if you are going to do a regular work, the episode of Wednesday 20th September is to be placed a year before My death [404], because it happened at harvest time in My 32nd year of age. The necessity to comfort and instruct you, My beloved, and others, has compelled Me to follow a special order when giving visions and relevant dictations. But in due course I will show you how to distribute the episodes of the three years of My public life.

The order of the Gospels is good, but not perfect as a chronological order. A diligent observer notices that. He who could have given the exact order of events, having been with Me from the beginning of the Evangelization to My Ascension, did not do so, because John, a true son of the Light, devoted himself to and worried about making the Light shine brightly through its appearance of a Body in the eyes of the heretics, who contested the truth of the Divinity enclosed in a human body. John's sublime Gospel achieved its supernatural purpose, but the chronology of My public life has not been improved by it. The other three evangelists show resemblances to one another with regard to events, but they alter their order with regard to time, because only one of the three was present at almost all My public life: Matthew, and he wrote it only fifteen years later, whilst the others wrote theirs even later, after hearing the story from My Mother, from Peter, from other apostles and disciples.

I want to give you a guide to collect together the events of the three years, year by year.

And now see and write. The episode follows that of Wednesday (20th September). »

I see Jesus walking slowly up and down a little country path in bright moonlight. The moon is full and shines with her smiling face in a very clear sky. By her position in the sky - she is beginning to set - I infer that it must be past midnight.

Jesus is certainly thinking and praying, although I do not hear any word. But He does not lose sight of what is around Him. He stops once and smiles listening to the loud song of a nightingale in love: the bird sings a melody with arpeggios and trills and a solo, notes which are held so well, so loud and for so long that it seems impossible that they come forth from that little bunch of feathers. In order not to disturb it with the shuffling of His sandals on the little stones of the path and with the rustling of His tunic on the grass, Jesus stops with folded arms and smiles raising His face. He even half-closes His eyes to concentrate better on hearing it, and when the nightingale comes to the end with a high note which rises and rises by thirds (I am not sure whether I remember correctly) and finishes with a very high note held as long as its breath allows, He expresses His approval and applauds silently nodding two or three times with a happy smile.

Now, instead, He bends over a tuft of honeysuckle in bloom, which exhales a strong scent from its numerous calyces like yawning serpents' mouths, in which the tongues of yellowish pistils tremble and a golden mark shines on the lower petal. The flowers look whiter, almost silvery, in the moonlight. Jesus admires and smells them and caresses them with His hand.

He retraces His steps. The place must be slightly high because in the moonlight one can see to the south something that shines like a wet piece of glass illuminated by the moon, certainly a tiny part of a lake, because it is neither a river nor the sea, as it is surrounded by hills on the side opposite to the one where Jesus is standing. Jesus looks at the placid calm waters sparkling in the peaceful summer night. He then turns round, from south to west, and looks at a village, standing out in its whiteness, about two kilometres away, probably less. It is quite a large village. He stops looking at it and shakes His head following a thought which distresses Him deeply.

He then resumes walking slowly and praying. Finally He sits on a large stone at the foot of a very tall tree, and assumes His usual posture, with His elbows 'resting on His knees, His forearms stretched out and His hands joined in prayer.

He remains thus for some time and would remain longer if a man, like a shadow, did not come towards Him from the thicket calling Him: « Master? »

Jesus turns round, because the person is coming from behind Him, and He says: « Judas? What do you want? »

« Where are You, Master? »

« At the foot of the walnut-tree. Come here. » And Jesus stands up and goes onto the path, in the moonlight, so that Judas may see Him. « Have you come, Judas, to keep your Master company for a little while? » They are now close to each other and Jesus lovingly lays an arm on His disciple's shoulder. « Or am I needed at Korazim? »

« No, Master. There is no need for You. I wanted to come to You. »

« Come then. There is room for both of us on this stone. »

They sit down close to each other and remain silent. Judas does not speak, he looks at Jesus. He is struggling. Jesus wants to help him. He looks at him kindly, but keenly.

« What a beautiful night, Judas! Look how everything is pure! I do not think that the first night which smiled at the Earth and at Adam's sleep in the earthly Paradise was purer. Smell how scented are these flowers. Smell them. But do not pick them. They are so beautiful and pure! I also have refrained from picking them because to pluck them is to profane them. It is always wrong to do violence, to plants as to animals, to animals as to men. Why deprive them of their lives? Life is so beautiful when it is spent well!... And those flowers spend their lives well because they are sweet smelling, they cheer up people with their beautiful appearance and scents, they give honey to bees and butterflies and they transfer to the latter the gold of their pistils to place tiny drops of topaz on their pearly wings, and are used to make beds in nests... If you had been here a little while ago, you would have heard a nightingale sing so sweetly its joy of living and praising the Lord. Dear little birds! What an example they are for men! They are satisfied with little and only with what is legal and holy. A tiny grain and a little worm as given to them by the Father Creator; and if there is none, they do not become angry or irritated, but they deceive the hunger of their bodies with the ardour of their hearts, which makes them sing the praises of the Lord and the joy of hope. They are happy to be tired after flying from dawn to sunset to build a nest for themselves, a tepid, soft, safe nest, not out of selfishness, but out of love for their offspring. And they sing urged by the joy of loving each other honestly: the nightingale for its mate and both for their little ones. Animals are always happy because they have no remorse or reproach in their hearts. We make them unhappy, because man is bad, disrespectful, overbearing, cruel. And he is not happy to be so with his like. His wickedness overflows on inferiors. And the more he feels remorse, the more his conscience spurs him and the more pitiless he is towards other people. I am sure, for instance, that that horseman who today was spurring his horse so cruelly, although it was wet with perspiration and tired, and he lashed it to the point of leaving swollen marks on the hair of its neck and sides, and even on its nostrils so tender, and on its dark eyelashes, which closed painfully on its eyes so resigned and mild, I am sure that his soul was not in peace. He was either going to commit a crime against Honesty, or he was coming from one. » Jesus becomes silent and pensive.

Judas is silent and pensive, too. He then says: « How beautiful it is, Master, to hear You speak thus! Everything becomes clear to the eyes, to the mind, to the heart... and everything becomes easy. Also to say: “I want to be good!” Also to say to You... also to say to You: “Master, my soul is upset as well! Do not be disgusted at me, Master, since You love so much those who are pure!” »

« Oh, Judas! I disgusted? My dear friend, My dear son, what is upsetting you? »

« Keep me with You, Master. Hold me tight... I have sworn to be good after You spoke to me so kindly. I have sworn to become the Judas of the first days, when I followed and loved You as a groom loves his bride and I yearned for nothing but You, as I found every satisfaction in You. That is how I loved You, Jesus... »

« I know... and that is why I loved you... But I still love you, My dear hurt friend... »

« How do You know that I am hurt? And do You know by what?... »

There is silence. Jesus looks at Judas so kindly... Tears seem to make His eyes wider and kinder, tempering their brightness: the eyes of an innocent defenceless child who gives himself completely in love.

Judas drops at His feet with his face on Jesus' knees and clasping His sides with his arms he moans: « Keep me with You, Master... keep me... My flesh is howling like a demon... and if I give in, then all evil befalls me... I know that you are aware of it, but You wait for me to tell You... But it is hard, Master, to say: “I have sinned.” »

« I know, My friend. That is why one ought to act correctly. So that later one may not have to lower oneself saying: “I have sinned.” But, Judas, that is also a very good medicine. The fact that one has to make an effort to confess one's sin restrains one from committing it; and if it has been committed the pain in accusing oneself is already redeeming repentance. And if one suffers not so much out of pride or for fear of punishment, but because one realises that by sinning one has caused sorrow, then I tell you that the sin is cancelled. It is love that saves. »

« I love You, Master. But I am so weak... Oh! You cannot love me! You are pure and You love the pure... You cannot love me because I am... I am... Oh! Jesus, relieve me of the hunger of sensuality! Do You know what a demon it is? »

« I know. I did not listen to it, but I know what its voices sound like. »

« See? See? You are so much disgusted by it that by simply mentioning it You look very upset... Oh! You cannot forgive me! »

« Judas. And do you not remember Mary? Or Matthew? Or the publican who became a leper? Or that woman, the Roman prostitute, for whom I prophesied a place in Heaven, because being forgiven by Me she will have the strength to live holily? »

« Master... Master... Oh! How sick at heart I am!... This evening I ran away... from Korazim... because if I had remained, I would have been lost. You know... it is like one who drinks and is taken ill... The doctor forbids him to drink wine and any intoxicating drink and he recovers and is healthy as long as he does not taste such liquors... But if he gives in, once only, and he tastes them again he is thirsty... thirsty for such liquids... he no longer resists... and drinks and drinks and is taken ill again... forever... mad... possessed by his demon... by that demon of his... Oh! Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!... Don't tell the others... Don't tell them... I blush with shame before them all... »

« But not before Me. »

Judas misunderstands. « That is true! I ought to blush more before You than anybody else, because You are perfect... »

« No, son. I did not mean that. Your grief, your distress, your dejection must not confound you. I said that you may blush before everybody, but not before Me. A son is not afraid or ashamed of a good father neither is an invalid of a clever doctor. And confession is to be made to both without any fear, as one loves and forgives, and the other understands and cures. I love and understand you. So I forgive and cure you. But tell Me, Judas. What is it that puts you into the hands of your demon? Is it I? Your brothers? Corrupt women? No. It is your will. I now forgive you and cure you... With what joy you have filled Me, My Judas! I was already rejoicing at this clear, scented night, which sweet songs made delightful, and I was praising the Lord for it. But the joy which you are now giving Me exceeds this clear moonlight, these scents, this peace, these songs. Can you hear it? The nightingale seems to join Me in telling you that it is glad of your good will, as the little singing bird is so willing to do that for which it was created. And likewise, this early morning breeze, which blows over flowers awaking them and letting dewy diamonds drop into the hollow calyces, so that butterflies and sunbeams may find them very soon, the former to refresh themselves, the latter to have their great brightness reflected by the tiny mirrors. Look: the moon is setting. Dawn is being announced by that cock crowing far away. The darkness and phantasm of the night are vanishing. See how quickly and pleasantly time has passed, whereas, if you had not come to Me, you would have spent it in disgust and remorse? You ought to come to Me every time you are afraid of yourself. One's own ego!!! A great friend, a great tempter, a great enemy and a great judge, Judas! And see? While it is a sincere loyal friend if you have been good, it can be an insincere friend if you are not good, and after being your accomplice, it rises to the office of implacable judge and tortures you with its reproaches... It is cruel in reproaching... Not I! Well, let us go. The night is over... »

« Master, I did not let You rest... and today You have to speak so much... »

« I have rested in the joy which you gave Me. There is no better rest for Me than to say: “Today I have saved one who was perishing.” Come... Let us go down to Korazim! Oh! if this town only knew how to imitate you, Judas! »

« Master... what will You tell my companions? »

« Nothing, if they do not ask Me... If they ask Me, I will say that we spoke of God's mercy... It is such a true and boundless subject that a very long life is not sufficient to treat it. Let us go... »

And they go down, both tall, differently handsome but equally young, One beside the other, and they disappear behind a group of trees...

Jesus says:

« It is an episode of mercy like those of the Magdalene. But if you make a book, it will be better if you put the periods in orderly succession rather than the categories, simply stating at the beginning or end of each episode to which category it belongs.

Why do I elucidate Judas' figure? Many may wonder why.

I reply. Judas' figure has been distorted too much in the course of time. And lately it has been completely perverted. Some schools have sung his praises as if he had been the second and indispensable author of Redemption. Many also think that he succumbed to a sudden fierce assault of the Tempter. No. Every fall has premisses in time. The graver the fall, the more it is prepared. Antecedent factors explain the fact. One does not collapse or rise all of a sudden, either in Good or in Evil. There are long insidious factors in descents, and patient holy ones in ascents. Judas' unfortunate drama can teach you so well how to save yourselves and how to become acquainted with the method of God and His mercy in saving and forgiving those who descend towards the Abyss.

One does not arrive at the satanic delirium in which you saw Judas struggle after the Crime, unless one is completely corrupted by Hellish habits, which one has taken up voluptuously for years. When one commits a crime driven by a sudden event, which deranges one's mind, one suffers but is capable of expiation, because some parts of the heart are still free from infernal poison. To the world denying Satan, because it has him so much in itself that it no longer notices him, it has absorbed him and has become part of his ego, I prove that Satan exists. He is eternal and immutable in the method employed to make you his victims. That is enough now. Remain with My peace. »

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